Peer Review - 20523

Grade
According to the rubric above, what grade would you give this essay? Why?
I want to give him 5points. He writed technically perfact writing and follws the classical argument, apso his topic is very unique.


How does this essay need to improve to get a better grade?
Using research appropriately, he will write a perfact writing.

Thesis
What is the thesis?
Cause football can give positive impacts to the society, we should encourage football.


Is the thesis clear and debatable?
yes.


If you (The reviewer) wrote this essay, how would you have written the thesis?
The reasons of foodball give positive impacts to the society. 

Classical Argument
Can you easily identify the 5 parts of the classical argument? If no, what parts are missing?
1.When we see SNS like facebook of instagram, we can figure out that many sports stars are trying to advertise campaigns like charity match or events.
2. we can think about health problem
3.  football can make peaceful world

Does the introduction catch your attention? Does it comfortably lead to the thesis? 
Yes, it was very impressive


Does the narration give all the necessary background information to understand the topic?
Yes.


Does the confirmation adequately support the thesis?
Yes.


Does the refutation and concession address a realistic counterpoint? Does it adequately dispute the counterpoint, or respond in a reasonable manner?
Yes.


Does the conclusion summarize the article and address the larger significance of the thesis? 
Yes, he summerised the artical.


What suggestions do you have for improving the classical argument structure?
More basic information about foodball will hepful.

Persuasion
When you started reading the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis? 
Disagree.


When you finished the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
Yes.



If your mind changed, why? What parts of the essay were persuasive?
His first reason that the famouse foodball player advertise some campain. This makes me agree with his topic.


How could the author enhance the persuasive parts of their essay?
I think his topic is very good but supports are little bit week.

Research
Is the author using research effectively? 
Yes


Is the research from appropriate sources?
I felt he did not.


Are the sources obvious?
Yes.


Are the pieces of evidence relevant to the thesis or essay?
A little


Are there any parts of the essay that need evidence to support the claims?
It is too difficalt to person who do not know well about food ball like me.