Peer Review - 20524

Grade
According to the rubric above, what grade would you give this essay? Why?
I will give her 4points. Because this paper technically perfect and follows the classical argument, displays an interesting and unique perspective on a highly specialized topic. But I think it was not done.
 

How does this essay need to improve to get a better grade?
I think if her eliminate some qusetion, it will be ok. Because Sam Teacher said "Do not use questions."

Thesis
What is the thesis?
Although some other theories are still evolving, minds are distinctive from bodies.

Is the thesis clear and debatable?
yes.
 

If you (The reviewer) wrote this essay, how would you have written the thesis?

Any other thoughts?
I will use of some unconscious behavior to sipport this topic.

Classical Argument
Can you easily identify the 5 parts of the classical argument? If no, what parts are missing?
1.human being and robot have a difference
2.since we can imagine our mind or soul without our body, they are different thing.
3. a human being has a "sense" or a "feeling"

Does the introduction catch your attention? Does it comfortably lead to the thesis? 
yes, her introduction is very easy to understand and interesting enough.
 

Does the narration give all the necessary background information to understand the topic?
yes, narration part gave me many survey about people's thoughts.
 

Does the confirmation adequately support the thesis?

yes, she explaind why her argument is more persuasive.
 
Does the refutation and concession address a realistic counterpoint? Does it adequately dispute the counterpoint, or respond in a reasonable manner?
yes.
 

Does the conclusion summarize the article and address the larger significance of the thesis? 
 yes she does.


What suggestions do you have for improving the classical argument structure?
 Avioding question.

Persuasion
When you started reading the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
I agree.


When you finished the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
 I afree.


If your mind changed, why? What parts of the essay were persuasive?
 I did not changed.


How could the author enhance the persuasive parts of their essay?
Intro more familiar examples. 

Research
Is the author using research effectively? 
 Yes.


Is the research from appropriate sources?
 yes.


Are the sources obvious?
 some times.


Are the pieces of evidence relevant to the thesis or essay?
 yes.


Are there any parts of the essay that need evidence to support the claims?
 no.